I wondered why i felt so sick
how could I be down,
even in my safe place
it didn't make sense.
I guess I was thinking,
about missing you.
Missing you forever
if you wandered
or you were stolen,
by someone more than me.
you are so many smiles
and so many heartbreaks
so many sweet dreams
and so many nightmares
perfect and impossible
and faulty and safe
but you leave me scared,
you must be special
for me to care this much
special enough that you must know,
how many love you
and I-I--I... am nothing really..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hate myself for loving you
"We have touched for the last time
You are long gone, in love with someone else
I now fear nothing but life itself
And I have learned that living is just a slow way to die
I do not believe in life or in love anymore.
The joy I feel are the joys of emptiness
I hate myself for loving you
The fear I feel night after night has developed into a disease
No-one can see the emptiness in my eyes.
To escape life itself now seems the only solution
With relief i look foward of letting go of the pain
Finally... there is peace in my soul
To lie dead without a concern , without a tear,
You own my heart
And life without you is so imensly painful
Just to think of you, talk about you, dream of you makes tears stream down
my face
I cannot imagine happiness without your beautiful smile, your angelic face,
your wonderful body and your good heart:
You are everything , I am nothing
I want to die
But really... I am already dead"
I will not live
May I tightly grip your neck
and passionately squeeze
the last breath out of you?
May I tear your heart out
and take a lucious bite out of
the muscely goodness
letting the final pulses of your blood
ooze down my throat
as our souls become one?
May I push you off a building
and watch you gracefully descend to earth
in your final act?
May I cover you in gasoline
then set you aflame, and watch as you,
my burning love,
turn to ashes?
May I chop your head off
and put it on my trophy shelf
as a symbol of my love and adoration
for you?
May I poison your last meal
and watch as you
chock and plead for my help?
you will get none, just my grin
May I put a bullet in your head
and watch as peices of your intellegent brain
splatter perfectly on the wall?
May I stab you
and hold you in my arms
just looking into your beautiful eyes
for the last minutes of your life?
Please, my love
May I Kill You?
Written in 2010-2011
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